Thursday, January 28, 2010

I am Totally Enlisted

I have tried to write a new blog entry for a total of probably 3 hours now and nothing seems to fit. I wanted to write about a Lifetime movie I watched over the weekend, but it seemed silly once I put my thoughts into words. Then I wanted to write about PJ's FHE lesson about obedience but PJ told me it was a little bit of a "2 X 4" message (you know, like a 2X4 beating you in the back of the head continuously). So I started pilfering through some other blogs to see what people were writing about and I came across one that tried as I might, I couldn't ignore. And then I felt really silly about my topics I was going to try to write about.

I watch and listen to the news every morning while I'm getting ready, in the morning while I drive to work and in the afternoons coming home from work and I have been overwhelmed by the sorrow I feel for these families and people affected by different disasters. There is of course Haiti and the middle east, and then there seems to be reports of fire every morning burning down someone's house or apartment complex, children being run over, family members dying. Especially after I read my friend's blog (I haven't checked to see if it was okay to talk about her blog on my blog) I just felt so helpless. We have been trying to get PJ into school now for almost a year and we're so close! But things keep popping up like both of our cars breaking down and new expenses you never see coming. I was telling PJ last night "am I not donating a lot of money because we don't have it, or because I'm trying to save it for us?". Both are good things- we need to get back on our feet, but it's also good if not great to help others. I kept thinking of all the things I wasn't able to do for other people and finally PJ snapped me out of it and said "you're never going to do anything if you sit here and think about what you can't do. What can we do?" So please! let me know what I can do. If it's watching your kids I'll do it! If you need to talk or to have someone listen, I'll do it! If you need help spreading word about a great cause, I'll put it on my blog, facebook, car; I'll do it! Where there's a will there's a way, and I have a newly found will which needs help finding some ways.

Friday, January 22, 2010

What Have YOU Seen?

I am so behind. I have seen so many movies it seems and I haven't given my golden reviews! I'll try to remember them all. Thing is, you've probably already seen them so it won't be much help. In hopes you haven't seen them and want some advice: here goes!

Ice Age 3: It was cute! It was a lot of things going good- oh! bad! Things going good- oh! Bad! and so on as most children's films do. There were some things that I thought would be over "PG"- minded kids heads... but we won't get into that because PJ has not ceased to joke me about it since. 3 stars.

Star Trek: Sci-Fi. Other than that it was captivating. It held my attention all the way to the end. I don't know that I would bother to watch it again though. My complaints are even though she was green there was a half naked girl in it for about 30 sec and well, it's sci-fi. 3 1/2 Stars.

UP: Cute. It was another things going good, things going bad, things going good, things going bad. It was a very sweet movie though and held my attention through the end. No complaints as far as material goes- Disney kept this one clean. 3 stars.

We've been watching a lot of LOST patiently awaiting the last season premiere on February 2nd. Any fans are welcome to come over and eat mangoes and Apollo bars with us as we try to solve the mysteries of the island. My brain is pretty much being taken up with all that information so I can't remember much else that we've seen. So, what have you guys been watching?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What About Me?

Hello my name is "apesjam" and I love LOST. We have watched all the episodes of all the seasons and now, because a month is too long to wait for the newest season to start, we have started over and are watching LOST from the begining. Something that happened in the last season that I cannot get too far in detail about has been on my mind. The dialog is between the leader of these people on "the island" and the leader's leader (everyone has someone to answer to). The leader (Ben) is talking to his leader (Jacob) and Ben asks Jacob why he has found favor in someone else and says "What about me?". Jacob then answers "What about you, Ben?"

This is a question I have found myself asking a lot. "What about me?" Why is someone else talking/singing/teaching in church? Don't I have something to bring to the table? What about me? Why is someone else getting praise for a job I did as well as them? What about me? Why them, why not me. I never saw this pattern in myself until PJ pointed it out sometime ago. I have to admit, it's pretty embarrasing, but the truth hurts.The answer is the most humbling response you can answer to such a question: What about you? Should others not be able to share their talents because I have them too? Can someone not be praised without having to dig out compliments to all around?

I have always found problems with The Prodigal Son story found in The New Testament. I always empathized with the "good" brother- what about him? He's worked hard, done the right thing for years and all of a sudden his good for nothing brother shows up and everyone's happy! His father throws a feast when the "good" brother has probably been feasting on manna for the past years. Why should this good for nothing brother get to eat well, sleep well, and get loved for doing the wrong thing for so many years? What about the "good" brother!

I am begining to learn my lesson. In high school, when this "what about me" feeling was the strongest, I had an awesome best friend and she had an awesome family that I kind of became a part of. They helped me through really hard times and helped me create really great times. But part of having such a great friend is that others find this friend to be pretty amazing too and I found myself in a lot of situations I wished I could have been the one to receive the opportunties she received. Because I was so jaded by my "what about me" question, I selfishly cast myself away and found my answer to be "What about you?". Indeed. In a sense I became the foolish brother in the story, casting away all that was good for my selfish needs to be in the spotlight, to be noticed.

But this weekend the story changed. PJ and I had the opportunity to be sealed in the temple and I was able to have this family there, by my side, cheering me on. I was and still am overwhelmed. I couldn't believe people that I knew I had hurt so badly at one time could not only forgive me, but support me in one of the biggest milestones in my life. Once again claiming me as family and welcoming me into their arms at last. I also felt the Saviors forgiveness and felt clean and pure, and needless to say very, very humbled. Being on the other side of the story, I know that the foolish son did not come back to his father's house with pride or an ill will. I know that the feast embarressed him as much as it made his brother mad with envy. I know he was also pleading "What about him?"

May we all repent and forgive. Please listen to this song and think about all you have been forgiven for.