Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I've had a lot of thoughts recently kind of flooding my mind but my thoughts tend to come in the form of questions so I have more so had a bunch of questions flooding my mind.

I'm 21. So sue me. I can't say I think that age should not matter, but I think it should be remembered that age doesn't necessarily reflect on how much knowledge one has. I am the youngest of my family, and I started school early so I have usually been the youngest amongst my peers and it seems once viewed as the youngest you never quite get out of people telling you "when you get older", "you'll learn", "just wait and see" etc... A lot of those comments are usually hinting at a darker present. For example "you think you're tired now, just wait until you have children!" Or "You might be happy now because you're a newlywed, but just wait until 5+ years down the line" Or my favorite "Because of your age you have no idea what I'm going though/feeling..." I got this attitude a lot when I was a teenager and my thoughts always turned to Joseph Smith. The Lord is no respecter of persons. Whom He calls, He qualifies. If He can trust a 14 year old boy to restore His church, I think He has given me the ability to at the very least imagine what pain is like. Believe it or not, I have felt both physical and emotional pain in my 21 years on this earth and I will not have someone tell me that that pain isn't valid.

Here in Georgia there has been quite an ethical issue involving an illegal college student. The story goes she got pulled over by campus police and did not have a license, lied about her address, and thus was discovered as an illegal immigrant. Of course the law was ready to deport her, but since she only had one year of school left, I believe the state of Georgia is going to let her finish her degree before they deport her; at the cost of out of state tuition of course. When interviewed about the whole situation she said something to the extent of "I hope this messed up system will change". Let me 'splain something to you. When you do something wrong, there are consequences. If you steal a car, you will get arrested and sentenced to probation, jail, community service, or whatever the judge sees fit. If you come into a country under the law and the law finds you, you should get put back into your country. I don't care what country it is. We have laws for a reason and when people stop upholding them, that's when all chaos will emerge.

Other thoughts I've been having have to deal with scriptures or talks I've heard recently. One scripture is in Alma 41: 11 "And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness." I love psychology, I love theories and talking to people to see why they are the way they are. In psychology though, you get a lot of dark theories about the origin of men, and nature vs. nurture. I was talking to PJ after the LOST series finale about some of these theories when I realized these people are lost themselves. I wander why people are so angry and this scripture helped me to realize why. I also loved in General Conference the talk which started "Tell me the stories of Jesus". That line has rung in my head for about 2 months now. I'm not really sure why, but I think I'm mentally taking notes of what my future children will need from me. I don't understand those who don't immediately start teaching their children the Gospel. Just like I said above, age has nothing to do with it! So what if they can't grasp the full concept- can we? Tell them the stories of Jesus! Lastly the phrase "every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that I am the Christ" has also been ringing in my head. I think that is going to be awe-some. I mean literally awe- inspriring. The sad part is that even the devils know who Christ is, they won't follow him. After all, in the end there are only two churches: The Church of Christ and the church of the devil. There will be no grey area when that time comes.

On a lighter note: When I was in high school I was in a play based on the book by Kafka entitled The Metamorphasis in which My (I being the sister in the play) brother turned into a cockroach. I would go in and clean up after him, but my mother and father (in the play of course) would not have anything to do with him. At one point, my mother decideds to go in his room with me and my mom sees him for the first time and faints. The next line was mine after this happned and it was "Smelling Salts!". Because of the exclamation I delivered it as a screaming insult to my cockroach of a brother in rehersals up until the week before competition in which my director stopped me and said "April, what are smelling salts?" I thought and looked around and... Oh! I did win an award for best actress by the way.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Dreams Come True!

I had to delete the original message because it looked like someone or something had hacked my account and put links to things which I did not put so! In short we paid of our old school which has been in the process of doing for almost 3 years now so PJ can go back to school now! Yay!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

My Musings

I would like to clarify some things. I (still) love Musical Theatre. I am a 1-3 person kind of show gal however. Most musicals I love have 2-4 main characters and the rest are just back up. When I would dream about performing, it wasn't with bright lights and crazy outfits and crazy singing with stunts; it was more me in a spotlight with a sparkly dress with a microphone and a piano just singing. I don't like what I call fluff. Pop music is fluff. Who needs drums and electric guitars and synth's? In my opinion: people who can't sing. I don't really like fluff musicals whose only purpose are to entertain and leave people empty after the 3rd day after leaving the theatre. You can probably tell by the kind of movies I watch, but I like heavy things. My favorite musicals (as a whole) are West Side Story, Company, The Last Five Years, and Sweeny Todd. I like these because I can remember where I was when I first watched them, heard the music, and to this day talk about the points they bring up. Sure I enjoyed watching Thoroughly Modern Millie and Legally Blonde but you've seen it once- you've seen it a thousand times.

In high school I loved monologue week. Working with a cast is so bothersome to me because you have to rely on the rest of the people to learn their lines, blocking, characterization and especially in high school that was almost impossible. I've never really liked group work for that reason (well having to rely on people doing what they say they're going to do). I hope BOOTH is reading this because she might remember a time in high school that for a young women/young men activity they decided to have a TEAM version of scripture jeopardy. I was so angry! Recently for Enrichment we also had a TEAM work presentation on all the Relief Society presidencies and I was hating it (luckily I'm a little bit more mature so I participated with a slight grin on my face). I like doing things myself. I like figuring things out on my own. I don't like competition and I don't like contention. But I do like to think. I would rather something I do make an impression on someone rather than simply entertain them. PJ's the entertainer in our family and he's darn good at it so since I don't like competition he can have that role.

Some of my favorites (along with West Side Story, Company, The Last Five Years and Sweeny Todd- not the movie) are (books) The Da Vinci Code, The Scarlet Letter, (movies) The Dark Knight, The Gladiator, and The Dead Poet's Society. See? No fluff. Some of my no fluff love songs for my Caberet Dream would be: Bill, Green Finch and Linnet Bird, Maybe This Time, Loosing My Mind, Unusual Way, Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered, Not a Day Goes By, So in Love, So Many People, and some may roll the eyes but what's Musical Theatre without The Phantom of the Opera so Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again (I consider this my fluff musical...). Why so serious? I don't know! But now you know why I was so proud of myself when I found The Office funny. "Poor fool he makes me laugh!"